1...2...3 - Aberdeen, Scotland Family Photography

Aberdeen, Scotland Family Photography

Deep breathe in. Count to three.
Deep breathe out. Count to three.

Yesterday was a day of deep breathes. So often I need that feeling of filling my lungs with air and feeling my chest and ribs expand to remind myself that I'm good. I'm doing a great job and to remind myself that it only takes three seconds for my mood to either become one of rage or one of patience.


Each morning I am awaken by my children climbing all over my face and this usually ends in me being scratched, pinched, choked, head bumped, and/or smothered. Yesterday was no different. Within the space of three seconds I went from being choked and my stomach belly flopped on to absolutely losing my cool and shooting up in bed proclaiming that I just can't take it anymore!


I'm tired of being beaten up every morning just lying in my own bed but it took no time at all for my mood to change from good to bad (if I'm honest, it happened this morning too). For the rest of the morning I had to fight the urge to not flip out at every scenario. Isn't it amazing how easy it is to let your emotions go and how hard it is to CHOOSE to be patient when everything within you absolutely does not feel that way?


In those moments I will often say a quick one sentence prayer that goes, "Lord, please give me the patience that I absolutely do not have." It's actually one of the hardest prayers I pray because when I'm in that moment of frustration and am this close to lighting that short fuse the last thing I want is to actually pray for patience. My nature wants me to lash out and own those emotions and even justify them. Nothing within me actually wants the patience I pray for but know I need.

"Lord, please give me the patience I don't have."

Three second prayer.
Three second deep breathe in.
Three second deep breathe out.
The difference between a good mood to bad, a bad mood to worse or a bad mood to good.

I wish I could say the three seconds always ends in victory but, heck no. But with each battle I win a few more.